You Are Who You Keep Seeking

Ten years ago I wrote in my college application essay that I wanted to understand the relationship between the microcosm and the macrocosm. I was 17 at the time. I didn’t really understand what it meant, but in my mind, chemistry would lead the way to understanding the microcosm and from there I could expand into the macrocosm.  For some reason I always had this expansive vision of what my education would entail.  I found through trial, and lots of error, that that education could not be found within the walls of a standard university.


Fast forward a few years and I happened upon the book “The Dancing Wu Li Masters” by Gary Zukav.  It was the gateway drug that brought me from hard science to the metaphysical.  It had me hooked. These ancient cultures of Asia had known for eons what our western science has just begun to explore.  I studied modern scientists and the theories of the holographic universe, quantum mechanics and even dove deep into the plasma universe as proposed by Nobel Prize Laureate Hannes Alfven.  What I discovered through these theories is we are not what we think we are, and this universe is vastly different than what we experience. What I learned is we are the microcosm. The macrocosm is a reflection of ourselves.  Alan Watts famously said, “You are who you keep seeking”.

This ultimately leads to the Vedantic question of “Who am I?”. Through my practice of searching for this “I” I found that I have quite a few (or 100%) misconceptions of who I am.  And so, here is the practice.  Ridding ourselves of all that we are not, to experience what remains.

This is where Ayurveda and Yoga fit into my journey. I realized along the way, in varying degrees, that no knowledge was more important than the knowledge of how to create a happy and harmonious life.  It was a sort of odd realization that in the land of the free, the land of more material goods than any other nation, we are not free of our mental entrapments.  We are so educated in things of the world, in business, science and politics, but we have so little knowledge of ourselves and our real potential.

My hope is that the posts I write will be helpful to anyone who reads them. They are guides along the way.  Small methods of purifying and ridding one’s self of dis-ease, mental and eventually physical, in order for each of us to experience more of who we truly are.

I thought it was due time for me to briefly share the profoundness of this journey. These little steps I hope to share are in actuality huge steps.  I only started 3 years ago, when I met a wonderful yoga teacher, Swami Sankaranada, from the Sivananda lineage.  Since then, I have committed to the path, and tried my best.  My best did not mean I was perfect.  Each day it felt like nothing had changed.  Looking back, everything has changed.

Committing to the study of Ayurveda has only expanded and grounded my practice. My hope is to share the joy we each have within ourselves, waiting to be experienced.


Aspiring Yogini


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